In order to discover new lands, one must be willing to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. – Andre Gide
When your life is falling apart
Nothing feels as good to me than crossing things I have done on my list. I have goals, to-do lists, and action plans. However, life just threw a virus in my way. I don’t know about you, but my whole life turned upside down a few weeks ago.
In my spiritual group, a favorite quote is: ‘If you want to make the Gods laugh, tell them about your plans’. Well, my plans were simple. I was to become a speaker and go on tours. Now I am isolating in my house with no one to talk to in person. Talk about a change of plans.
I am pretty sure your plans are down the drain as well.
If your world is falling apart, let it fall. Imagine yourself holding the world in your hands? Visualize it for a moment. It’s a funny thought. No one would think themselves able to do that. But when our world is falling apart, that is exactly what most of us try to do! Just let it fall. Give yourself a break. You need to find a way back to peace, and acceptance leads the way.
It is what it is
Whenever a year ends, we all scramble to finish what we started and start anew. Well, let’s cheer up! We can now forget about the unfinished business, the undone tasks, perhaps our lack of good planning and our now useless to-do list. No one will blame us, we’re all in this together. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade they say.
For those of us were behind with our goals in 2019 or 2020, let’s cheer up; Now we’re off the hook. And anyway, perhaps they were not realistic? Looking at my last year’s goals, I can see I was shooting for the moon.
I am, and always will be, a dreamer and an unrealistic planner. I make plans and show them to those who guide me. They usually like about 10% of my ideas then suggest I table the rest. They tell me to focus on doing less while accomplishing more. I always over plan things. And life happens.
Last year I had hoped to take my dad on a trip but his health and my finances did not make that possible. I had hoped for a bigger income but I did not realize it would take me most of the year to figure out what I wanted to do when I grew up. I did not take into account my high sensitivity and the fact that sensitive people need more time to figure things out.
When I finally figured out what to do with the rest of my life,
I got the ball rolling in early January. It rolled into the gutter.
Perhaps it will happen next year, but this time around, I am going to keep it stupid and simple. I am feeling at times scared, stressed and alone. I need something doable, easy to achieve and on a realistic timeline to feel safe and successful.
5 easy-to-achieve goals to feel safe and successful
I am scared, stressed out and insecure at times. At other times I am doing just fine. In order to take into account the situation we are in, I rescaled my expectations of myself. So here’s my suggestion of 5 realistic goals you can hope to achieve easily.
I don’t suggest you tackle them all. I usually juggle 3 balls at a time in various areas of my life.
I try to keep projects, goals, priorities, must-do under the magic 3. Plus my memory can be a liability. I forget what I was going to do easily. So browse the list and whatever catches your eye first, that might just be what you need to achieve at this time.
How to create a smart goal
A goal is said to be S.M.A.R.T. according to this book by Peter Drucker if it has those five qualities:
- Specific (simple, sensible, significant).
- Measurable (meaningful, motivating).
- Achievable (agreed, attainable).
- Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based).
- Time-bound (time-based, time-limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive).
#1. Create an inner-vision to guide your goal setting.
Write an inner self-statement you aim to achieve for yourself. Visions are better expressed in the present tense as only the present exists. Any other tense would not be as powerful as nothing can affect the future or correct mistakes from the past like the present.
In this exercise, express how you envision your inner-self and how it makes you feel.
Ideas of an inner-vision
- I can see myself being connected to my own and other’s inner source of power on a daily basis and I feel empowered.
- My smart goal will be to meditate each morning and call a friend at night.
- I can see my mind open up daily to new experiences, discoveries and that makes me feel excited about the future.
- My smart goal will be to read from an author I don’t know, watch something I don’t usually watch at least once a week.
- I can see myself willing to take risks to expand my life and allow me to reach out to my potential and I feel so alive.
- My smart goal will be to write an opinion I believe in, but might bring me critics once a month.
- I can see my willingness lined up with my inner source of power and being aligned with the highest calling for myself.
- My smart goal will be to investigate my motives before taking action.
- I express confidence and risk failure to discover new talents and sources of fun. I feel focused, driven, purposeful and joyful.
- My smart goal will be to investigate my fears and discuss them with a fellow spiritual seeker within 48 hours.
- I see all my senses attracted only by the light, positive attributes, qualities and good actions of others. As I see the light, support others to shine, I in turn shine. I feel worthy, safe and connected.
- My smart goal will be to keep a daily gratitude journal and share one positive thing about someone or something inspiring online.
Lasting outer changes are created from the inside out. So write a vision of your inside and smart goals around it, and your life will change on the outside.
Each morning read your vision to yourself and take a few minutes to see yourself actually being in those states and feel yourself taking these actions.
#2. Create a vision board
My smart goal will be: I will create a vision board before the end of the week. I will hang it in a place where I can see it daily.
I do this every year usually with a friend or two in a café. We all bring various magazines, a folder that opens up or any big piece of cardboard, scissors, and glue. A marker or two can also be used.
As we drink our lattes and chat, we browse the magazines and, not based on anything serious or calculated, we cut out things that catch our eyes.
Do not be an overthinker
Do not plan your year in your head and try to find the right words or pictures to fit your already made-up mind. Let your intuition guide you instead. If a colour attracts you, cut out whatever it is that is there. Go through 2-3 magazines cutting things out. Overthinking will cut out your intuition.
Then take your opened folder or your cardboard, and start gluing. Again, intuitively putting things where you feel they belong, words creating sentences and images creating feelings. If something comes up in your mind, you can complete it with your marker but don’t overdo it. You don’t want your left brain to take over and cut out your intuition. Notice how I put a + sign in front of the amount of money I wanted to manifest. It was intuitive.
The power of vision boards
I am amazed when I look back at my passed vision boards, to see how many things and situations manifested themselves in my life. Sometimes it’s little things, sometimes huge ones like the picture above. Some things I envisioned never materialized. But it happened at times that a few years later, something I had envisioned materialized long after I had forgotten them.
Last year, I was showing a young woman how to make a vision board and I showed her my Dec 2016 board. In the finance section of the board, I had glued the picture of a piggy bank as you can see in the picture above. In my mind, I was envisioning that I would save money in 2017, something that I struggle with. Well low and behold, I looked at the pig and told her: ‘You won’t believe this! I bought this house in May 2017 and look at what the seller left in it: a big pink ceramic piggy bank!’
I never noticed until then that I had manifested the piggy bank! This gave me goosebumps. Sometimes the image is not precise enough. I got a real piggy bank instead of the ability to save that which I was hoping for. Be very specific in what you ask the universe.
One couple had put the picture of a fabulous resort hotel in their vision board. They ended-up in Hawaï in a modest hotel with the exact view from their balcony.
Don’t be afraid to dream bigger dreams
I once told a mentor that I was very powerful at manifesting, but only manifested small stuff.
He asked: ‘Are you asking for the big stuff?’
I wasn’t. I did not feel worthy. So I practiced. My house was the first big thing I asked for. The second biggest vision I manifested is the amount I put on the December 16 vision board by selling that house 3 times what I had paid for it. Both of my first two biggest wishes were granted.
You are not alone, mentors are all around you
As you read, I achieved financial independence by following guidance from a mentor. You might think: I cannot afford a mentor. Let me tell you how I received 6 months of guidance for free from this mentor.
I was attending a real estate conference and the speaker, a self-made millionaire with over 150 houses, gave us these suggestions;
- Never say you can’t afford it, say ‘How can I afford it’.
- Work with the best coaches.
At the end of the talk, I went to see him and I asked him: ‘How can I work with the best coaches when I am broke?’ He replied: ‘When you see someone that knows what they are doing, ask them out for a coffee. Then, do what they suggest or they won’t have another coffee with you’.
So I left, and I returned five minutes later and asked him: ‘Do you want to have a coffee with me?’ He laughed and gave me his business card. He said he’d be back in town the next month and if he had time he would.
To help myself, I went online to research his website. I saw that he was offering a weekend seminar that next month, on real estate. It cost $5k. I wrote to him and asked if he needed any volunteers. He replied that he did! So I spent the weekend volunteering at the seminar (which I attended for free) and on Sunday night, he took me out for dinner and gave me 2 hours of guidance. He kept mentoring me for free by email for 6 months.
How vision boards work
In my experience, vision boards only work when I actually don’t care if they work. I know that if something I have envisioned does not come true, it’s because something better is meant to be for me. If I am adamant that I must get something, I rarely get it.
Detachment is key to manifestation. The more intuitive the vision, the better the power of manifestation will be. The bigger the letting go, the bigger the attraction.
If you can envision it, you can do it
The idea with vision boards is to believe it can happen while not knowing how. It is to believe you will find within yourself resources that are now invisible to you. God will do for us what we could not do for ourselves is one of the promises of my spiritual program. Time and time again I have taken actions which, used to baffle me. I have no idea how. I just did them intuitively.
Do all vision boards create manifestations?
Not in my experience. I asked a spiritual teacher that same question after I manifested all that money. I asked her: Was I blessed with all this money because it was fate, and fate guided me to put that amount on the vision board or, was I blessed with this money because I envisioned it? Her answer was very useful to me for future vision boards.
She stated that I was blessed with this money because a) I had asked for it and b) everything in me was in agreement with the vision. In my mind, my emotions and my guts I was in total alignment with my vision. I truly believed that I was to have this money to continue my mission of helping others. I knew I needed some time. Time is money.
#3. Set goal free days
This one is to give us a break. I remember when I decided to become a singer, my daughter’s father gave me a sign for Christmas. It had many paragraphs describing the many difficulties I would face, and each one ended with: take a break if you must but don’t give up.
- My smart goal will be: I will assign (one day, one afternoon, one hour, 15 min), each (week, day, month) to not think about my goals, but simply enjoy myself, free of any pressure to perform.
Taking breaks means we won’t give up
It’s nice to have goals and ambitions but if they rule our lives, I for one, become completely overpowered. I get too tired and then everything seems to be a big huge deal. I remember some nights wanting to get up again cause I had forgotten to brush my teeth. This easy task seemed to be insurmountable. I had overdone the day.
So I try to keep myself at a comfortable pace and goals free days help me with that. For the longest time, Mondays were my goals free days. On Mondays, I was free to do whatever I wanted. If a whole day is not feasible (you have a new business, young children, etc.), then plan goal free times.
Failing to plan free days is planning to fail
Plan these ahead at the beginning of the year. Advise everyone that these days and times are sacred and you are not available. Then let yourself play.
Julia Cameron in her book The artist’s way, suggests having an artist date each week. Just for yourself. The Goals free days are there to allow you to let something new into your life. These times are to do nothing or do something that will bring you joy. Something that will replenish you.
The only rule is that you MUST not think about your goals and try to achieve them. Think of it as recess time just like when in school. It’s time to let go, to go out and play.
#4. Have no goals, go on a goal sabbatical
- My smart goal will be to practice not having goals. I will plan my days, afternoons, hours and activities in an intuitive way. I will practice resting in the unknown. I will practice doing stuff for fun, without any need to perform or achieve any results. I will let life pull me forward, following my bliss. I will let go of the finishing line.
Perhaps that is where you are this year. Perhaps you have always been a very focused, diligent and disciplined person but now, you need a break. It happened to me. Three years ago I decided to go on a sabbatical. I basically did not plan what I would do and I had the most wonderful time.
I gardened, took many painting classes and went for ice cream with a friend who lives nearby in the afternoons. I took a group guitar class and long walks. I had no other goal than to just live and enjoy my life. I bought some antique broken furniture and revamped it all with another friend, redecorating my entire bedroom.
After a year I felt I was not ready to start again yet. I extended my sabbatical to another 6 months, then another one. I bought a puppy and went to puppy school. Then I felt creative. I decided to produce a one-woman show, record a live album and write a book on abundance.
I did all that without planning it. It just felt like the right thing to do. I was pulled forward.
How to get your life together
To get your life together, you first need to get your inner life together. Sometimes, to have no goal is the way to go. If you feel deep inside that it is time for a break, ask the universe. I did and the guidance that came from within was: ‘Sell your house.’ It took me another 6 months to sell my house. With the money, I moved to the country in my home province of Quebec, bought another house for a lot less and with the remaining funds I took time off.
At other times in my life I needed time off but I did not have money to fund it. I rented rooms to foreign students to fund my time off. Whatever time you need, tell yourself: how could I afford this? And you will get answers. Never think you cannot afford it because the universe is always listening and answering according to your request. If you say you can’t, you will manifest blocks.
If you want to be truly inspired by someone’s whose life fell apart big time, read Christopher Reeve’s before and after story here.
#5. Begin again
- My smart short term goal will be to make brand new goals according to my life as it is now. These goals will demand very little performance out of me. These goals will not bring any expectations on me to perform. I will practice extreme self-care with myself until life is back to normal again (Define self-care precisely, what, when, how).
When your life is falling apart, a new one is just beginning
It might seem hard to believe, but we can create good and growth from the worse of catastrophes. Not everything happens for a reason. Nothing irritates me more than when someone comes up to me after a huge loss and says: ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ That is not true for me. Nature does not need a reason to be nature. A hurricane and a virus do not need a reason to be. They are simply being what they are. And so can we.
However, being ourselves, we can take whatever happens and, in time, transcend it for our own good.
My friend Paul is always happy. I could say that he has a positive and cheerful attitude 99% of the time. His downfall is drivers who do not put their turn signals on, but otherwise, he is a happy camper.
I once asked him how he did that. He replied: ‘I made a decision that I was going to be happy, so I don’t dwell on things.’ He takes life as it comes and makes the best of it. On his fridge there is a sign that says: ‘Life is an attitude, if you don’t like your life, change your attitude.’
Decide to be happy no matter what
I remember myself, a young 18 years old, driving my car, feeling happy. It was a beautiful summer day, the sky was a perfect blue, the sun shining. I felt so happy. Then I took a left turn a little bit too late and got stopped by a police officer. I ended up with a $60 ticket which at the time was a HUGE sum for me.
I was shocked. Not sure how to react. I had been so happy. What could I do to be happy again? I told myself: ‘No way this ticket will make me unhappy.’ In my mind, I divided the $60 into 365 days. That gave me a ridiculously low amount of a few cents per day. That was my first ticket ever, so on a yearly basis, it was not bad at all. And on that thought, my happiness returned. Since then, I try to apply that principle to all unwanted events and unpleasant situations.
So try to put things in perspective and if you get very emotional take a step back. Breath. Think it through.
When feeling disconnected or facing uncertain times, begin again.
Life being life, it will bring its lot of dramas and bad times. Life can be hard. When we are hit by shocking events, our inner life is rocked. Our foundations may crack. A lot of fear creeps in and we are left feeling disconnected or facing uncertain times.
When this happens, all we need to do is begin again.
Begin taking care of ourselves. Begin rebuilding ourselves. Make new plans. Rethink what really matters. I have gone through difficult times in my life. Horrendous grief. I have lost people that I loved deeply. It hurt. I made huge mistakes that brought me a lot of shame.
But looking back, these horrible times were instrumental in making me resilient. So resilient that they now allow me to make my dreams come true. The difficulties made me who I am. They showed me how strong I could be, and can be again.
When forests burn down it creates a regeneration of the soil and soon nature is thriving even more than before.
So, when the world as you know it, or your life as you lived it, is falling apart, take heart.
A new and better one is just beginning.
Not the end…
Need more help? I can help you create long-lasting solutions from the inside out, and let your inner beauty shine out in all your projects.
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